Warped Tour Week 5
Mansfield, MA - By some great miracle we are still here on the Warped Tour. We couldn’t be happier getting to play yet another day. Tension is still high as we dangle from a thin rope with more than a few slits in it. For now we perform as if it were the end of the world, and the audiences can taste the passion in the sweat that sprays the front row. We wreck shop knowing damn well just how much is riding on the power to shock and awe. So long as they let us we will play. Goodnight Massachusetts.
Camden, NJ - We didn’t know this prior but Camden, NJ has one of the highest crime rates in America. A very shady city in the overcast of the Delaware river. We are informed by a local grocer clerk that most businesses close at 6pm in avoidance of robberies and shootings. If we want to get some beer now is the time, and if we’re going to run into a bath-salt crazed DMX in the evening this would be the place. The weather remains cool throughout the day giving us a nice chance to recover from weeks of sun poisoning. Still uncertain of how long we will remain we continue the trek through the east coast.
Uniondale, NY - Long Island stand up! LL Cool J in the house! We have a hell of a show in Long Island with our special guest Rah Digga. Now let me tell you something about Rah Digga, I am not one for female emcees, and I’m not being sexist I just don’t personally dig the way girls rap. They should be singing, they’re beautiful, not made for mumbling rhyme schemes over crappy beats in a tone lower than they talk. However, Rah Digga is a whole other story. Her presence and power on the microphone demands attention from even the grimiest of rap heads, and there’s no denying that. “One two three four, grimy b*tch stomp the bogey outside ya front door!” We love you Dirty Harriet.
Hartford, CT - Connecticut is one of those cities that’s hard to remember. I don’t know if it was all the rum we drank from Skinny Lister‘s flaggan or if it was just because Connecticut sucks. Either way this day was lost in the blur of road life. Counting yellow lines gets boring, we’re out of greenery and Chase poops his pants. What next? We meet a male stripper in the wee hours of the night who smokes blunts with us and shares his shooters of vodka, he ends up being a psychic as well so we try and surprise him with a personal magic show from DJ Zone, things get a little too personal and now pants are missing. Ayo!
Columbia, MD - After another hot performance for clammy kids raging with hormones we push through the day with doubt over our heads. We are still here, but things are still dicey. Miraculously we have been selling enough CD’s to stay floating and keep the dogs at bay. Things look dreary and something must happen to revamp crew morale. When like a sign from the heavens a hockey game breaks out, and now we get to see who is really Canadian. Shirts vs. skins like old times and the skins take it with a couple slap shots and checks to the head. Faceoff!
Virginia Beach, VA - Today we are awoken to a surprise when on the way to setup we spot that The Chicharones will be performing on a main stage (Ernie Ball). We are stoked! Day beers are tossed back in victory and the nerves kick in. We’ve been kicking ass and crossing our fingers for this chance, now here it is. The nervousness gets kicked in the balls and we go smash on the stage. Our crowd is ten times larger than usual with our main stage status. We are all finally back to feeling good and determined to make it.
Atlanta, GA - Today is a game changer. It’s looking strong that we’ll be on the rest of the tour now and to top it all off we are getting a real life tour manager on board with us. Rodney Blake Powell is this rough ‘n tough cowboys name. Drummer of The Tennessee Three which backed Johnny Cash for nearly 25 years. What a bad ass! The guy has also tour managed for Pink Floyd and countless other heroes we can’t believe we are a degree away from now. He immediately takes charge and gets our gears turning in the right direction. Teamwork, it’s a beautiful thing.
West Palm Beach, FL - Tonight it gets a little out of hand. Another artist BBQ is thrown after the show and some great performances are had by the acoustic act Owen Plant and a band called The Heritage. The fun takes a twist to the crazy when Skinny Lister brings out that damn flaggan. Blackouts occur and our merch guy gets completely obliterated. We go back to the bus knowing we’ll be in trouble if up causing havoc any longer and so we pass out in our beds all glossy eyed and off-balance. Somewhere in the midst of this our merch guy (Uncle Charles) gets up while blacked out, goes and lies in our new tour managers bunk and pisses himself. He then flails about and breaks the breathing mask the man keeps in his bunk for his sleep apnea. Uncle Charles is in big trouble, but we can’t help but laugh at the misfortune of a piss drenched mattress at the crazy kids expense.
Just another day on Vans Warped Tour 2012.