What’s Crackin’: The Environment Is Finally Killing Us

This Week In Stuff

The Environment Is Killing Us

Let’s start this week off with some awesome news! There’s no point in dieting or exercising now since the environment around us is going to kill us. That’s right, a study published by the International Agency for Cancer Research states the air in our cities is now about as bad as second hand smoke. As of 2010 more than half of the world’s population lives in cities, and with pollution so out of hand, the very air we survive on has now become highly carcinogenic. Smoke ’em if you got ’em!

Man Made Star To Orbit Planet

Artist, photographer and experimental geographer, Trevor Paglen, has been toying with the idea of a man-made star for some time now. Last year he launched a gold-plated disc into the earth’s atmosphere that will remain in orbit with our planet infinitely (or until we blow ourselves up). This year Trevor has unveiled the 80% space-ready “Prototype For A Nonfunctional Satellite” is a public art piece to be launched into space that will replicate a “constantly shimmering star” in our sky.

Fart Filtering Underwear

What if you could turn that silent but deadly flatulence into just silent? A British company has launched their newest product, a fart filtering underwear that has an odorized pad in the back to neutralize the passing of gas. Americans have shown themselves quite interested in this product as they account for a 400% sales increase since expanding to the US. This is terrifying. A world without farts is a world without laughs.

World’s First Bitcoin ATM Opens In Vancouver

Vancouver, BC is going to be the first city to open an ATM solely for the purpose of Bitcoin trading. If you’re not familiar with Bitcoins, it is a strictly digital currency making its rounds into the mainstream. They are not regulated by any form of government and can only be acquired through mining large prime numbers and decrypting files. Bitcoins currently go for about $200 a coin, and show no sign of stopping but only more curiosity after the closing of the “online black market” website the Silk Road, which operated solely on Bitcoin transactions. Nerds.

Prank Backfires & Man Hangs Self

A practical joker’s prank backfired immensely this week as he accidentally hung himself. The late 50’s man was married and had three children. His wife states he was well known for pulling practical jokes in which he pretended to be dead. She recalls various stunts he pulled in the past, including pretending to electrocute himself, and would often be found hiding in ridiculous places to scare his family. His wife says she came home and all the lights were off, so she expected him to be ready to scare her with something, and that’s when she found his body hanging there, having played the ultimate prank on himself. Good job!

This Week In Camobear

Evil Ebenezer – “Downtown”

Evil Ebenezer released his third single/video from his newest full-length HOWL – check out the video for “Downtown”, produced and directed by Stuey Kubrick, below and stream the whole album HERE.

The Lytics – “Toot Your Own Horn”

The Lytics have also released their third single/video from their sophomore album They Told Me – check out the video for “Toot Your Own Horn” below and get the album HERE.

This Week In Cariboo

On Friday, November 1 Fortune Sound Club (147 E Pender) and Happy Ending Fridays Presents: Night After The Living Dead – De Los Muertos Party! We’re continuing those Halloween vibes with a Night After The Living Dead party and opening up all our rooms for the multi-vibe satisfaction. Customized alien x bad acid trip meets Halloween decor!! DJ Funeral & the REUP deejays (Genie & Rico Uno) will be taking care business in the main room while we’re having a Day Of The Dead Party in our special projects space (middle floor) with music supplied by the Tropidelica deejays Kut, Mandai & special guest DJ Funeral (Body High)! This will be a very happy ending to your life bruh!

Plus we’ve got the Westcoast Culture Takeover Party going down in the Livestock Room with deejays GRLFRNDs, Leer, and Sad Girl!!

Brought To You By

El Kartel
Cariboo Brewing