What’s Crackin’: Santa Claus Is Canadian Edition
This Week In Stuff
Nelson Mandela Sign Language Interpreter A Fake
This last week we lost an incredible leader, Nelson Mandela. Although any death is heartbreaking, it is safe to say that Mandela lived a full and meaningful life, which makes it suck to see someone mock him. During his memorial this week, a sign language interpreter stood next to the podium to give deaf viewers an understanding of what was being said. However, he was quickly called out on Twitter as he was apparently just flapping his arms about and repeating the same meaningless movements. Big ups to this guy for getting away with it as long as he did, and turning the revolutionary’s funeral into a new sketch for Key & Peele.
Canada Vows To Protect Santa Claus From The Russians
This week, in response to Russia looking to up their presence in the Arctic, brave Canadian leaders have vowed to protect the North Pole and Santa Claus from the Soviets. I want to say this is just a joke for the kids, but liberal leader Justin Trudeau was quoted saying, “Everyone knows Santa Claus is Canadian.” Claiming dibs on the mythical figure for having the postal code H0H 0H0 in Canada that receives children’s letters to the North Pole every year from around the world. So yeah, screw them Christmas ruining Russians, Santa Claus is Canadian and we intend on keeping him that way. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night, eh?
Woman Gets Glued To Toilet Seat
In a prank gone wrong (or right), a woman sitting down to use the restroom in a Home Depot found herself suddenly superglued to the toilet seat. She claims to have been yelling for help for over an hour before employees finally called paramedics to the scene. “I should have been taken to the hospital,” she states. Instead the paramedics were cracking jokes at her and repeatedly pulled her from the toilet seat until her flesh ripped off her little brown eye to free her. This is why you should always wipe the seat first, or you too could get that ass torn to pieces.
Study Says Taking Pictures Ruins Your Memory
A scientist interested in the effects of taking photographs on the memory made an interesting discovery this week. After observing and testing college students in a museum where they were asked to photograph some objects while only observing others, researchers found they could hardly remember the objects they even took pictures of! So next time you’re at a school play and you see every parent in the room glued to their cell phone, vicariously viewing their child through a screen, smack them across the face and break their phone. You now have permission to do that.
Epic Drinking & Driving Prank
When their friend who had already racked up five DUIs passed out drunk in the back of a truck, his caring friends decided to pull off one of the most epic pranks of all time: to rattle him with the dangers of drunk driving. Complete with a fake hospital room and fake newscast, the concerned friends convinced the man he had been in a post drunk driving coma for the last ten years. The ending is the most epic as he realizes it’s a prank and his friend literally just starts beating the shit out of him. Happy Holidays and please don’t drink and drive!
Hip Hop Vancouver Episode #2
Check out the second installment from our homies at Hip Hop Karaoke!
This Week In Cariboo
Pop Princess Party 4.0 at Happy Ending Fridays!
Friday, December 13th presents Happy Ending Fridays Pop Princess Party 4.0 with Pistol Whip (exclusive HEF mix here!) and DJs Cherchez and Yurie with Lil India in the Livestock Room! More event info HERE.