What’s Crackin’: End of The Internet Edition
This Week In Stuff
The End Of The Internet
After today the internet may never be the same again. This Thursday the FCC had a hearing on Net Neutrality which was passed, will be revisited and go into effect over the next year. What this means is that internet providers will be able to give faster download and streaming access to companies that pay them a nice sized fee, all while restricting websites and companies that can’t pay for the new internet “fast-lane” to be forced into slow and problematic connectivity. This also means we may see the cost of internet increase substantially, in order to make up for the fee that companies like Netflix and HBO will be paying. While classism has dominated our society, we are now seeing it take over our alternate realities as well. Pretty soon well known porn streaming sites will be like going back to dial up, and Bang Bros may actually see a few of your hard earned dollars to keep up that twisted habit you can’t live without.
Teen Stoaway Survives Airplane Ride In Wheel Well
We all know how ridiculous it is to be a teenager. The angst, the depression, the constant masturbation. Here is one teen who had enough and decided to runaway from home by hiding in the wheel well of an airplane at the San Jose, CA airport. What the kid did not expect was that his survival was a pure miracle, being in only the right position to not be crushed by the airplanes landing gears, as well as surviving a 5 hour flight to Hawaii over the ocean at 38,000 feet in the air without a pressurized cabin. The sad teenager simply hopped in the wheel well, passed out and woke up in Hawaii like nothing happened. Since 1947 an approximate 105 people have attempted to stowaway in wheel well, and of them only 25 have survived, including this sadly depressed teen who is surely much happier being in Paradise rather than smoggy Southern California.
The Football Phantom of Bolivia
This week at a football match in Bolivia that was televised showed what appeared to be a ghostly apparition darting through the stands, fans and even a barrier. This wouldn’t be the first time the South American stadium has experienced paranormal activity, such as the time they thought the ghost of former President Hugo Chavez blocked a goal for them in an international match against Colombia. The video showing the apparition has gone viral, and has garnered many theories and possibilities, such as that it’s a floating camera being strung along a nearly invisible wire cable, however that doesn’t explain the apparent motion of legs quickly running. Either way check the video below and decide for yourself.
Digital Shadow (How Facebook Knows Everything About You)
We all know that Facebook and other social media networks collect a whole lot of personal data about us. The funny thing is that we willingly tell them, where we live, what we are doing, and who we are hanging out with on a regular basis. Not only is this information stored and sold off by Facebook, but a lot of it is publicly available. As a clever campaign for the upcoming Ubisoft game “Watch Dogs” (which looks badass) you can visit this website DigitalShadow.com and with permission that site will deconstruct some very personal details about you, including where you live, your habits, facial recognition, income, and cohorts. Check out your Digital Shadow HERE and follow that by setting all of your social media to private in George Orwell approved panic mode.
Loaded Guns In Lady Parts!?!
A 19 year old girl in Tennessee (that obviously looks like she’d keep a gun in her squishy) was booked for driving without a license, that turned into so much more. When the police officers examined her they noticed a strange hard object in her groin area. Two female police officers (warning: this a sexy situation right here) did a cavity search on the woman and found a four inch pistol hidden in her lady parts. Why? The gun was identified with the original owner who had reported it stolen some months earlier. When interviewed the man who owned the gun claimed he was going to give it a “bleach bath” and by that he means some weird perverted stuff first. The gun was found fully loaded, and the girl is just lucky that it didn’t discharge and ruin her womanhood forever. Seriously, if you need to keep a gun inside of you, then you have far more problems than not having a drivers license.
This Week In Camobear
Sapient Announces New Album “Light Tiger”
The headline says it all, emcee/producer/singer/songwriter/instrumentalist Sapient is back with a brand new album “Light Tiger” as part of his ongoing Eaters series. Check out the video below and visit his website for some awesome pre-order packs HERE.
This Week In Cariboo
Cariboo Brewing and Memory Laine Events presents the Fraser Valley Food Truck Festival. Part Two is set to launch this week at the Cloverdale Fairgrounds. With over 20 food trucks, game stations, face painting, and of course a beer garden from your favourite local BC brewery, it’s bound to be a blast for you, your baby, and your baby’s mama.
You so-called ladies and gentlemen (for lack of a better word) drank all the beer way too fast last time so we’re lacing you up with all the beer you can handle and some Cariboo merch for your summer adventures.
Make sure not to miss out this time if you missed the Chilliwack installment.