Striker’s Tales: 07.21.11
Hoodie was the driver for the first four hours till I made him snap in Osoyoos where he said, “I’m outta of here!” and tried to leave the bus. I wouldn’t make it that easy because he had the gas card, so on his way out a grabbed his hoodie to get the card but as he jumped out I tore it, really making him blow up. After an hour of him trying to hitchhike outta town he skated back and I was the first to greet him. Everything worked out I said sorry and explained myself and we were good the rest of the trip, till he got drunk and mean again. What can you expect, he quit smoking for three weeks and he’s on edge.
I drove for the rest of the trip a total of thirty six hours! Almost falling asleep at the wheel a few times, I ripped off my nice Hawaiian shirt right off of my back and yelled and screamed to stay awake on the way there. Ryan a new rider that joined us for this trip thought I was crazy. I thought everyone was sleeping but Ryan was awake and he told me he thought I had turrets syndrome. On the way back I was smacking myself in the face on both sides and talking to myself just to get these guys to the first hill. I know what I was doing, these guys must have really thought I was nuts for sure! After two all-nighters and three hours sleep the next night, I was brittle.
While driving of course I almost hit deer’s and when I was driving all night to get to Kimberly the sun was coming up and I almost smashed into a black bear and her cubs on a bridge. But again no worries I’m a road star driver, we were safe. Road tripping is just what the doctor ordered. Speaking of dears Old timer frank cote smashed into a deer while bombing hills from Calgary to Kimberly. All he could do was body check the beast. He made it out alive but had huge swell bow. It looked like he broke his arm but he still managed to race the sully and the drunken Clydesdale race.
After hitting all the hills from Vancouver to Cranbrook, it was getting late, pitch black outside and pissing rain – that didn’t stop professional California rider Louis Pilloni, tripping Matt Hoddie Shaw and Abby thrasher troy from missing the opportunity to kill some midnight hills. Rough mountain roads with pot holes hidden in the night a downhillers delight. huge puddles to almost send these riders over the front of there boards unexpectedly, but they rode on with no crashes. it wasn’t till the end of the hill where hoodie went to push his board only to find himself in the ditch. That wasn’t the only time hoodie found himself in the ditch. He fell into the sani-dump at the gas station twice! It wasn’t his day but boy he was ripping the mountains at night with no fear.
Near the end of the night on the way to Kimberly I was waking riders to hit the hills. The moon was full and it lit up the road a dark blue path into darkness. I yelled “break check who’s skating” troy was the only rider to wake up and jump out. First time for him on this mountain pass and without headlights or checking the road first he was off soul skating with the moonlight. It wasn’t till the moon didn’t light the road anymore we couldn’t see him and at that time he told me later on he couldn’t see the where he was going. I turned on the lights at the right time. Good thing too he was hugging the yellow line that was a rumble strip, that would have ate him up and sent him to the pain train for real.
I cleaned my ears with a bic pen and we arrived at Schnitzels house. he’s the man behind the low-rider decks you see at all the events. These were the boards that shops used to laugh at and now company’s have copy. Besides me He’s also the man behind Canada’s other longest running race of ten years the Sullivan challenge. In its day it was the craziest race Canada had to offer. Eight man heats, fifteen percent drop into a rough alley with corners to shoot back onto the street with a hard right hand turn to send you into the thousands of spectators. Then you got me announcing and yelling play by plays while racers dodge cars coming up the track, racers crashing into stop signs and many potholes and cracks for racers to play with. To everyone’s surprise in ten years not one ambulance call. I don’t get it. What a course, it was good to be back.
This year for year ten schnitzel somehow set up some kind of antenna and we broke into the radio waves and were broadcasting a pirate.. Pirate radio and you could tune into 96.1fm the keg and here us assholes. It was all metal, punk rock drunken radio. Anyone could tune in from Kimberly to dink town and hear us fools live in there cars, homes or at work. We were Uncensored might I add. I love this. I got to broadcast live when the cops came to Schnitzels house and threatened us. Schnitzel ran away into his house because of the the time, last year when the police came to his house and beat his ass up. “I’m a peaceful man aahhhhhh” as the cops choked him out and broke his ribs. The whole race was broadcasted live on 96.1 keg fm. So spectators, residents and racers up and down the track for the first time could follow the race live baby it was unreal! Loved it! Don’t worry I got my Cariboo plugs in to.
The first race of the weekend was the Clydesdale. The city of Kimberly paved the old railway route twenty km from Kimberly to Marysville so the push racers pushed from Marysville to Kimberly then all downhill back to Marysville. This race is in honor of Scotty the body a local Coast Longboarder but Kimberly local and good friend of Schnitzels and the rest of us. He passed away two years ago in a fishing accident. Schnitzel never knew anyone that skated all over Kimberly and Marysville more drunk and skating beers more miles than Scotty. So what better race to hold for a old chap than the Clydesdale.
What a blast. you should have seen some of these racers crashing down the hill to the finish line. Loved it, great entertainment. Scotty would have been proud. Thanks to Cariboo we had a Boo podium with shirts, hats, sandals, toques and cooler bags. Coast Longbarding donated nice gold, silver and bronze metals and some Coast Longboarding ten year limited edition shirts. The podium was stoked and racers were gunned. Dan Moe third place was falling all over the lawn with peanut butter all over his face jam on his fingers just wrecked. He was Running and falling all over all the lawns in the normally nice quiet neighborhood. If you ask me Dan Moe won the Clydesdale. He passed out shit and puked all over himself. Now that’s a win in my books for sure. Crazy skaters.
This years party spot was heated out by Facebook and cops were ready to greet us, so we found a new camp spot up a mountain an old logging road where the forest has been totally logged but once off the dirt road was a wide open spot for us to start burning and getting into the boo. This spot was way better than out old spot. Great place to burn a car if we needed. A little spooky at night with a few trees left standing all around us it kind of reminded me of dr sues style trees. Most racers set up camp here. Racers from all over the world. Stumanchu showed up with his meth lab bus full of racers. Did we ever giver bush party style.
People come to race but people also come to win the party, in BC racing this is very important. The great thing about the Sullivan challenge is the race starts at two in the afternoon and good thing because I won the party the night before the race….who was my main competition? Guess who, the Schnitzel. We sat around the fire till the sun came up. Bickering like old men. No truce was even talked about. This was full on. People would wake up to take a piss and we were still there bickering talking about how were not even tiered trying to throw the other guy off. Shnitz would fill a beer then I would match him. We both had very important jobs the that day. He had to run the Sullivan challenge and I had to announce the race and put on the show. Keep sponsors happy basically kick some ass. Long story short. I won the party! He calls me a cheater.
Three hours sleep it was time to rock and roll. Race day. The band chaos logic set up on the race course. The pirate radio was set up for everyone’s enjoyment. I set up a Coast Longboarding booth with Ryan and Chrystal to get rid of some limited edition Coast gear. Then the mic was set up and I was on. Race day was packed! great day of racing. It was skin burning hot. I got stung by a hornet right in the face while announcing racers crashing into the corner. man that hurt. Never got bit by a hornet before. The crowd was feeding me A&W, freezes, beer and water all day I love announcing races. Zen Shakazi Japanese Canadian thrasher stopped the Americans from winning a third straight sully challenge and owning the podium. He was in the finals racing two former Sullivan challenge champions Billy bones and two time champ and defending champ Zak Maytum. The finals had four Americans vs. four Canadians. Zen saved the day! Canada took the win.
All in all unreal weekend. We ate fresh Okanagan fruits, the Crib-Bomb drank flats and flats of cold Cariboo, we went swimming, we built bonfires, Cody bear crashed on the hwy skinning his arm and skidding downhill on his helmet. One person a night got seriously burnt from fire jumping, We ran into dear bones on the side of the highway, we dodged the cops once again and nothing really got wrecked on the crib except a hose. We all got home safe and sound. My baby Billie and momma had a blast. the Crib-Bomb is ready for this weekends race on Vancouver Island, the Mount Washington Downhill, the fastest race in north America. Ready for a fresh seafood feast with some fresh cold Cariboo Pale Ale… I know I am!