Cariboo Brewing

Let’s start by saying it’s August and everyone in the Coast Community has already noticed that the fundraising for the Push for the Cure started. As a community throughout Canada we have all helped raise over a million dollars against breast cancer but in my mind cancer in general.

This past weekend while most of us were on our way to Summerland to ride the Giant free ride, the ladies of Abby, including Lori the push queen master, hosted a bikini car wash to raise some awareness and funds towards this year’s three-day seventh annual memorial push for the cure. In October longboarders will skip turkey with their families and sweat, bleed and cry in a grueling 150km push to Vancouver’s Stanly Park.

There was a great big turnout of volunteers washing cars this past weekend and the ladies even in the rain ended up raising over five hundred dollars! You know the perverts were just lined up watching these ladies scrub down their dirty cars and vans for a great cause while they got a little stimuli!

Our next fundraiser is the 2nd Annual Boo-Boo-Q August 18th 3:00pm till sunrise hosted by Celine and family out in Maple Ridge. Last year thanks to our generous sponsors including of course Cariboo Brewing, Coast Longboarding, Landyachtz Longboards and a few more I cant really remember off the top of my head but the Boo-Boo-Q went off with a bang so were doing it again! Its event like these that help us facilitate the pushers all weekend long. It gets cold at night in October so we rent halls along the way to help everyone recharge for the next days push and water of course.

I thank everyone involved, sponsors and volunteers, because none of this would happen without ya and I wish I had more time to help out more! This year I’ve decided to give away some prizes to be auctioned off and one of the goodies I’m going to donate are a set of gold, silver and bronze Coast Longboarding medals to go to the highest bidder! I know these will not go cheap! It’s hard as hell to win one of these so I’m excited to see how it all pans out and who gets those special suckers! So go! With all this hype already started in August it scares me to think of the size of this years push for the cure!

This weekend the F-Bomb and our longboards took us to Summerland! The land of scorching hot heat, juicy peaches and other tasty fruit. Lakes, rivers and the mighty Giant’s Head. Geologically speaking, Giant’s Head Mountain is a giant roche moutonnee. This is a ground-down knob carved and plucked by the re-freezing of a glacier, which pulls loosened rock from the main body of the rock at the base of the moving glacier. It is typically striated or has grooves in the rock and also has a gentle slope facing the up-stream direction of the ice movement. In this case, the glacial plucking produced the face on the south side. So in English it’s f$#@%in nuts and if you crash you’re off the cliff or you’re hanging from a pine tree.

Organizers and volunteers showed up a week early to start building wooden ramp paths and jumps throughout the rugged landscape of the steep scary mountainside. Huge wall rides and painful short cuts made fools of riders all weekend long. I seen one rider pointing out his road rash from Friday and this one here was from Saturday and this huge one came form Sunday that he was hoping to make it out alive Monday.

It was plus thirty eight degrees at times! Water is always a huge thing for this event and instead of a t-shirt as a gift for your entry fee you get a tank top. Nobody is in leathers they couldn’t survive so as they get spanked all weekend long they are also melting skin off their body’s every chance they take! The riders were beat up all weekend long.

When we left Vancouver I had pretty much a whole new crew on the F-Bomb. It was nice to see some new faces and get the chance to meet a few out of towner’s. We had a nut from Colorado loved the guy and he was one of the only ones that didn’t puke in the first two hours of the trip. I love the new guys on the F-Bomb. They go hard right off the bat just guzzling beer like it was going out of style. Of course we always load the Crypt with Cariboos and this stuff can pack a punch!

They wanted to play by the rules so I gave it to them. Plane, shot gun, train, shotgun, greyhound, shotgun, boat in the water shot gun, forest fire, shot gun, accident scene, shot gun, hit a deer shot gun, break down, shot gun, cops drink, pulled over by the cops, shot gun. Fart you drink. If you don’t own up everyone drinks! Jogger drink, mountain biker drink, mountain biker riding with no hands, shot gun, mountain bike with a dog on the bike shot gun, spill your beer, shoe! A beer close to you is spilled, shoe. Rumble strip drink, motorhome cheers holiday drink, and horn honks, drink. Green car or truck, shot gun. So you can see where this leads too. And the new kids on the block are all over this!

We took the number five route and by Merrit thought we would take a break and ran into the Rayne RV, Tiffany, all hiding out on a dirt road so we snuck up on them to say hi. The new Cottonmouth Smoke Shop vaporizer has been great so far. Dropped it and it still works. So after some high fives and some RV talk with Les the other driver we headed out to climb out of merit to our first break check of the night were Bridger and Colorado got up to 80 km/hr on their skateboards, in the pitch black! This is the real shitty thing about being the sober driver and the only one not drinking in the RV is I never get the chance anymore to bomb some hills. When Hoodie comes on a trip I get to skate a bit but not this trip!

We all camp at the racers camp at the Summerland rodeo grounds and soon as we pull in the younger riders from all around the world ask me right away if I have any Cariboo Root Beer. This trip I had none! We parked and pulled out the PAsystem and blasted some tunes and the lazers got going right away. We stole power from the stinky woman’s bathroom but that’s all we needed. I broke down and bought a Master Craft generator, hunk of junk from Canadian Tire earlier that day just in case but all we did was rip it out of the box, I still haven’t tested it! I hope its enough for some lazers and a PA! I stayed up most the night singing and cracking jokes with the boys but bedtime was coming fast like the sun.

We woke up and food stop to pick up all the goodies the boys needed for the day including a mandatory four liter jug of water and bags of ice to keep all the beer ice cold! That’s the only way to drink beer! I drove the boys to Giant’s Head and unlike last year when we just parked and had a sweat lodge for most the day I took off with Bridge to Penticton to go floating the canal to cool off. Of course we got side tracked and hit every Salvation Army and Value Village in town buying tones of shit for the weekend. Mom would be proud!

When we got to the canal I’m telling you thousands of people were drinking Cariboo and floating down the stream. There was businesses that would fill up your float toys for two bucks, for five bucks you can use their float toys and for ten bucks you’ll get a shuttle from the end of your drunken journey back to the start line. Heaven! Bridge and me didn’t have a float toy this time so we loaded up bridge with beer and I took two myself and we floated for three hours! I look over and Bridge cant even swim. He’s suckin and blowing running on the rocks trying to drink beer smashing his toes off of rocks and logs. He mad it just fine!

After running the canal for seven eight hours we headed back to giants head and picked up the rest of the crew! Beat up and sunstroke they need food and beer now! So we got food and headed back to the camp to pound some music and tell stories about the day.

This year Giant’s Head attracted a true legend of downhill Darryl Freeman. Google the name! He flew in from Hawaii with three other Hawaiian riders so being one of my idols I captured them and fed them a good time. The boys really like the new Scandal organic beer. I told them that the hops and barley unlike other beers on the market is grown organically so they were tasting a true BC beer at it’s finest!

The next day we did the float thing again but this time we had a good crew with us. Everyone liked the sound of the float so we packed up and bought a bunch of float toys while Bridge just used baby billies life jacket for the day.

Again we loaded the boys up with cold Cariboo beers and we represented the Boo in the Okanagan! The boys got smart some tied a bag of boo to there foot so they wouldn’t flip a tube and lose everything. Freeman was having a blast seen a bridge while we were floating and swam to shore and leaped off the sucker like a true modern day Hawaiian Tarzan.

You want to talk about the ladies well if you were single they were everywhere and the boys turned into hungry dogs. On the F-Bomb you don’t see woman for days so when they get out in this kind of environment you can only imagine the words spilling out there mouths! What a wonderful couple days of relaxing!

Again we went back and picked up the rest of the crew and headed back to the camp and sure enough Hambone Winklestien the 3rd got all excited and broke the other bench seat at the table. Before this wrecked the furnace we needed this to be addressed asap! With all the ramp building we had lots of saws, wood and Mr. fix its on hand and earning his keep was Badner Trent form Ladner! He was on it! It took him a couple days of drinking and sawing but everything came together and we were off to the races!

Then we got to meet naked hammered local Scary Gerry! Welcome to Summerland! We don’t need clothes here. Now we have all of the local Summerland fans in the Crypt and one was sitting on my couches with his bare ass. Nice to meet you I said and he said lets have a shot gun! So we did!

This with the pounding music led to our first ever game of Scandal! Rip open a scandal box or go to scandalbrewing.ca and download all the cards and get a game going! I loved this game. It’s very well thought out and fun. Too bad everyone was was so wasted, well, Scary Larry was so wasted that he spilled his drink on his naked lap and had to drink form a shoe. Well he had no shoes so with a little convincing and the twisting of the arm he was shoeing. But he spilled again so we gave him another shoe. Spilled again so we kicked his naked ass out and he did his last shoe of the night outside and earned his spot respectably back in the Cripple Bomb!

It was getting late and a local puked so I pulled out the bleach and mop and kicked everyone out! It was bed time! I heard the next day Scary Terry was missing in action after a 7-11 stop and rumor had it he slept in a bus somewhere nude! That’s not a problem in Summerland nobody needs a blanket! Woke up, we had race day! I grabbed the mic and I guess the live feed never worked out but the guys running that end of it learned heaps from the experience so we have hope for the future on that one.

The crashing, the racing the tricks of the trade were like none other! The ramps really made the crowd nuts. There were racing when a rider would take the ramp while the other racer would take the road and the guy flying off the wall ride would catch his competitor because of the pure speed coming off the wall ride! This thing was literally built on the side of a mountain. When I say crashes I mean like crashes off of a cliff way the hell down the way! I can’t believe nobody got heli evacuated out!

K-Rimes won it all again showing hes still kicking ass! Another older Coasty found his way onto the podium again earning a second place finish Hugh Kibbling Johnston and third place going to young gunn Byron Essert!

Huge props to king Brian for fighting the town eight years ago to be able to close the park for us! Many thanks to the main organizer Andrew Monaghan for his evolution of the freeriding and changing everyone’s lives! Attracting legends worldwide and just being one of the coolest rider organized events around! What other race do you get a set of wheels of your choice to burn up to test and then give your feed back to the companies making the wheels! Andrew and the hard working volunteers Thank you!

Thanks to Cariboo, Landyachtz, S&J sales, Concrete Wave and Switchback Longboards! Shouts out to all the riders, adventurers, spectators and racers supporting the Cribb-Bomb!

I’m off to Salt Spring this weekend for the 5th Annual Salt Spring Slasher! Looks like it’s going to be a Love-Bomb tour! We have four couples on board that’s including little Billie rose and her momma! Stoked! This was the race where she was conceived!

Strike out!