Cariboo Brewing

The road to the Sullivan Challenge might have been one of the wildest trips yet this year. Maryhill would be a tough one to beat but ill say this trip was up there. You know what now that I think of it the 11th Sullivan Challenge was nuts! A combination of huge mountain runs playing with semi trucks, crazy amounts of hitchhikers, barefoot runs, cops, girls, staple gun, hardcore racing, shotguns, a pounding stadium sound system in the woods, fires, motor bikes, shoes, puke, piss warm lakes, skitchin 110km in the rain, skate parks and of course all the shenanigans on the Cripple Bomb!!

Let’s start with going to the liquor store and buying thirty two flats of Cariboo and five flats of Cariboo Root Beer to start this trip. Trust me the government liquor store thought we were nuts loading this up for one of British Columbia’s oldest race the Sullivan challenge! We even got the manager stoked and got him sweating helping us load this golden BC nectar.

After the liquor stop we drove to the Cariboo head quarters to pick up a Cariboo longboard and a Cariboo skateboard for the weekends events. Stoked on the stickers and the Cariboo beer chilling buckets they gave as as well as some t-shirts to hook up the Coast sponsored Abbotsford Yardwaste with.

This trip was important to me to sponsor the Yardwaste boys because they are the outcasts of the Coast community it seems but they do everything as a team better than I’ve ever seen in the Coast community. They are wild, they skate fast, they bomb mountain roads in the night or the day, and they play music and fast music. They love Cariboo beer and a good party and they don’t take no shit. They hear riders bad mouthing them all the time and the funny thing is they are standing right there and the guys that do they bad mouthing don’t even know that a couple of the team members are right in from of there faces.

In Whistler they got blamed for the fire! They were the ones seen running up the hill first on the scene putting out the fire. All the shit that some people talking about this team better wake up because Abby Yardwaste is here to stay and they are Coast to the bone! These boys are young and only going to get faster and I’m stoked to introduce them into our family even if it means they gotta push there way in.

We have a new hitchhiker rule on the Cripple Bomb and it goes like this. We see you. We stop. We open the door we start with you doing a shot gun. If you refuse the shot gun we slam the door and drive on. If you do the shot gun we then give you one dice to roll. If you roll a one. We give you a beer and drive away. If you roll a two, three, four, five or six then now you on the cripple bomb and that’s how many cold Cariboo beers you won! This trip we must have had around ten hitchhikers in the Crypt at the same time and not one was unlucky with the roll. Now if you drink your beer and want another beer…. you have to roll to dice. If the hitchhiker rolls a three or less he’s off the bus with that many beers and we leave him on the side of the highway. So it’s a gamble but if the hitch hiker rolls with two dice a four or greater they win a beer. We did have one crazy man that went for it and risked his ride for a beer and rolled with luck winning an extra beer! I love the new rules make things fun! Picking up hitch hikers really breathes some fresh well needed energy after a crazy weekend in the sun!

Oh yeah bad news after bringing the Cribb to get the generator fixed they charged me four hundred bucks just to tell me they know what’s wrong with the gen set and it will take at least another five hundred bucks to fix it. So when I brought it in to get fixed it worked on and off. I paid four hundred bucks and they disconnected the switch and the f%$#@in thing wont work at all now! Side note I’m pissed off!

Pacific Western Brewery as you know just launched scandal the new beer on the scene. Comes as Ale and Lager ale right now its so popular in all government liquor stores and cold beer and wine stores that they couldn’t keep up with demand! So when we went to get some for this trip we were lucky enough to get a flat of it for the boys to enjoy and test out. Well it’s been a hit. But we still haven’t had the chance to play the game that is built in the box so I guess we can just download all the playing cards on scandalbrewing.ca and play but I want to get the beer boxes and collect the cards the true way. They have different cards in the lager and the ale so keep that in mind! All the rules on the game are detailed in the box so it makes it easy to learn or again just go to the website and all the rules are posted there.

Driving to Kimberly is a test on its own and I was ready to drive the whole thing but it was nice to know hoodie was showing up on this trip and on the way there he drove around eight hours straight. We hit lots of towns and a lot of hills along the way and this time we were sending the boys down some dark mountain highway bombs. This type of riding is very dangerous. Potholes and cracks were tough to see at night and of course the gravity seems to suck you downhill faster with the moonlight!

We got to Osoyoos and I did my first mountain bomb since my big crash last year and let me tell you speaking of cracks and pot holes and night riding this was the topic in my brain because it’s happened to me so many times over the years and the young punks don’t even know what this old mountain crasher has gone through. But nonetheless I found myself racing down a mountain at night blasting past these young grasshoppers but they were quick to say the least.

The legs were burning and the hill if you roll long enough rolls you right through Osoyoos and all the way to the lake where we all stripped down and jumped in the warm bath water enjoying Boo and the sweet Okanagan. Sector Troy the boss wanted to test out the waterproof camera of mine and while yelling Yardwaste he took a deep breath and set himself up for an underwater shot gun. This is the same guy that did over a hundred shot guns in seven days and swears he doesn’t drink beer anymore he just shot guns them and he did and we snapped a picture of it!

We left Osoyoos after our dip in the lake and after Hoodie planted some seeds and collected some girl’s numbers for a later date we were off. With Hoodie driving I thought everything would be fine and it wasn’t till I heard Hoodie yelling at me to wake up at four thirty in the morning that the cops were searching the Cripple Bomb and were all being arrested after we drove through a random road check just after four twenty and the cop got a whiff of some weeds.

We all had to get personally searched as we got off the Crypt I wanted to get frisked first because I just woke up and of course I had no pencil shavings in a bag on me for them to take but that wasn’t the case for everyone. They took a bong and under twenty grams of sweet BC bud from everyone combined. As the one officer took our names the other went through every bag every compartment, every inch of the Cribb looking for the big score and when it was time for the officer to take my name he paused so I gave him my name again and he said Bricin? Bricin Lyons… I went to church with you! Bang! We were in! I couldn’t believe it I said Rob? He said Ron! I was like no way how’s pastor Rich! And we started yapping about old times in youth group it was really good to see him again.

So the cops that pulled us over I went to church with. Well that was that we were on our way. No charges, no trouble we were on our way in no time thank god! Before we pulled away I said while laughing “Hey don’t tell everyone last time you seen me you pulled me over for smelling weed on the bus eh?” he just laughed. Oh another funny thing about the whole thing was when the one cop was searching the Cribb every cupboard was jammed packed with Boo. He came stumbling our chuckling wow this is the most beer I’ve ever seen in my life what are you guys sponsored? Of course I pulled out my receipt to prove we bought it all and he just laughed. Oh ya and meanwhile they make Hoodie do a blow test. With all this beer the driver must have booze in the blood. Well, Hoodie blew 0.0 baby! Ahhahahahaha we’re not that stupid! Bring it on roadblocks!

We pushed on it was daylight now so perfect timing to bomb some more mountain runs. This time I took off my shoes for the second run down a mountain road and felt the fresh wind on my stinky and the rumble and vibrations on my bare feet. I felt good but man I’m sure out of shape as you all know and it sure felt like it. But again we were bombing and I had a great run with Jonny Yardwaste!

We got to Kimberly finally and I slept till two or three not bad considering we showed up after breakfast in the morning. Friday everyone started rolling in this was the day Jody holds the Scott Murray memorial race called the Clydesdale. Nobody drank and pushed his board more than Scotty the body. Scotty put the first beer gardens at a race in BC ever back around Sully number two and all he did was just buy a bunch of beer and flagged off an area and started selling beer hahahaha!

Well of course F-bomb local Sector Troy Yardwaste, Mr. shot gun, the boss, the leader takes first place and takes home gold and the first of two medals on the weekend! The Finnish line is a blast. Everyone is hammered and all cameras are rolling! Chaos puke, laughing and fighting. Third place was a fight the drunk and annoying Dan Moe called Frank the Tank 3rd place a cheater so because of this we had to cut a Coast medal in half and awarded two pieces of the 3rd place metal to both racers.

Of course the cops came all night and instead of Jody getting beat up in his own yard again he just hid inside his house while we made all the noise. The cops must of banged on the Cripple Bomb door like six times that night with threats of towing us and all the rest of the bull shit but we had smooth talking Mike McGoldrick representing us and everything worked out fine. Its that dam PA system we got in the Cripple. When we have power boy do we ever have power! Waking up the neighbors for the Sully is nothing new. Especially after eleven years of the same old bullsit!

I woke up at the bowl smoker again I slept in but Hoodie got us there. The bowl smoker is the annual skate park race that is a part of the Sully Challenge. Quickest time through the setline in the skate bowl wins. Well, earning his now second Coast medal representing Yardwaste the boss sector troy took third place. The ladies were all over him now. But the quickest and most impressive skater of the day was a local park rat that schooled everyone and won himself a Coast gold medal and a sick new Cariboo skateboard! I’m stoked this guy won it because by Sunday when I seen him again at the race the board was already thrashed and all the Boo logo on the bottom was worked from grinding!

This story never ends! Kiefer Yardwaste needed to once again slang his Cribb Bomb fee so instead of selling stickers we made a sign for him and me the pretend announcer and Arther Yardwaste the other hype man walked around the sully fest beer gardens showing off The Amazing Kiefer! The amazing Kiefer was getting cash stapled to his body from all types. It was a sight to see. Most were disgusted but of course there are the demented in the crowd and they want to pay $5 bucks to staple five bucks on a guy. It worked, the Amazing Kiefer ended on main stage with the band getting a plug helping his cause. People were walking by and trying to steal cash off the Amazing Kiefer and when they would rip out a bill he would start to bleed so we would have to clean him up. I think at one point he had about 37 bucks stapled to his ass. Just so you know this wasn’t just any stapler this was a industrial stapler and the staples were long buggers. Good old Hollywood Wes Sampson loved the story so much that after a couple Boos and a great race day he found himself stapling Kraft cheese slices 4 times into his forehead for shits and giggles! He’s got respect from everyone who seen after that! After one hour of hard labor the Amazing Kiefer took home $120 bucks in blood money and earned his keep. I’ll never forget all the cash stapled into this man and how the wind made the money flap!! Million-dollar man!

Race day was hot as hell! Royal Board Shop out of Calgary ordered a pile of Coast Longboarding zipper hoodies and other gear off me so I loaded him up a garbage bag full of gear slapped a coast sticker on it and we were in business!

Racing was heavy with eight man heats and the rule this year was no changing you wheels. Jody made the rule so kids getting into the sport don’t think you need to change to fresh wheels every run to win! Because of kids watching the pros change wheels every run they think they gotta do this and it costs hundreds of bucks all of a sudden so I like the rule.

K-Rimes won the race beating past champion Billy Bones and ripper Hugh Kibbling Johnson. Cariboo racer Mack Wacey raced himself into a respectable 4th place finish. A day filled with crashes and extreme heat made it a memorable one and Sully 11 went off without a hitch!

We headed back to the bush racers camp where chainsaws slayed dead pine beetle trees and the booming sound system with local ripper band Lead By Metal Shed and Honey Man echoed against the mountains. The fire was huge as always and we did it right before having to wake up eight am to ditch hoodie because he was mia but took the cribb bomb record for three ladies in one night. Hoodie caught us in dink town and we bombed hills all the way home!

Wow! This weekend is Coast Longboardings 12th birthday. Saturday 4:20am is the Lions Urban Assault Down Mountain Cross Town Push Race, then 4:20pm is the 12th annual Coast Longboarders take over the Seawall Cruise followed by the return of Loose Tooth feat Fresh Breath on bass as we headline the seawall after party with cariboo specials at funky winker beans then to wake up first thing Sunday morning to make our way to Chilliwack for the annual Wack Attack and pink slips!

No rest for the wicked! So don’t miss it!

Strike out!