Cariboo Brewing

Striker’s Tales: 10.24.11

• Nov
  24th

It’s cold out here anywhere from -10 to -20 and that’s just the start of winter. The beer of choice in this cold weather is without a doubt is the Cariboo Cream Ale. The last few days I’ve been looking for a nice winter jacket. But after a year being sponsored by Cariboo I’m finding it very tough to find a nice winter snowboard jacket in xxxl. Good thing there coming out with Cariboo Light Lager in a silver can, that should take care of that!

Winter and reality in the Cariboo for Striker at this point and time. I’ve been flying back and forth this November and October from the mainland to the Cariboo as most of you know to care for my mother that has been in the hospital for over two months now fighting cancer and a number of other things. I write this week’s Striker tales on a nice comfy cot jammed in the corner of my mom’s hospital room. Last night was the first night that I slept here or tried to sleep here to comfort my mom in here so she herself can get good nights sleep. Its been a rough week for momma Striker, it seems every day she wakes up here and a different doctor wakes her up with news that she’s going to die. Not a great way to start the day for anyone.

In the Cariboo we are getting those very cold days where you have to plug in your cars and trucks and keep your tongue off the poles unless you like having your tongue stuck to the pole. Its cold out here, the roads are filled with black ice and snow. When the sun comes out you still can find roads that are skateable but you’ll have to do it with caution. The sand trucks have hit the Cariboo roads hard. When the snow melts you have sand and gravel patches on the roads you have to keep your head up, not good for longboarding or driving fast.

Speaking of Cariboo and driving fast I got a huge dose of adrenaline yesterday flying down the highway, not on my longboard but in my moms car. When I drive in the Cariboo I always keep one of my two eyes on the road and the other eye on the ditches for drunks, crack heads and deer. It’s a good thing to because this time I had the closest call yet. On mom’s day pass a deer jumps out as I had it pinned 10km over the speed limit. But no worries I got road star. I’m an offensive defensive driver. I stuck my arm out to make sure mom didn’t go smashing out the window as I used me quick longboarding instincts and my superb road star skills to maneuver around the deer sucker that could have killed us, while watching out for the big truck that was about to pass me on the left and checking out dead deer number two lying on the side of the road on the right. I was pumped. I just escaped disaster. I Felt like I just bombed Teutonia! My eyes, my ears, my brain felt so good. It’s like that feeling when your skating downtown and you almost get hit by a car. My heart felt great. I felt unreal! It happened so fast mom never even seen it coming and she never got the full satisfaction I got. I love close calls.

It’s early and the nurses keep coming into the room here. I built a little fort here in the corner of my mom’s hospital room. Remember when you were a kid and you would set up four chairs in the living room and drape a blanket over them and it would make for a cool fort. Well that’s kind of what I’ve done here. Nobody can see me as they come in and out of here. Moms snoring and I’m farting. My moms heat lamp for some reason is pointing at my ass and the chili and egg sandwiches I had for lunch yesterday is getting baked. If the nurses come in here or any visitors my mom will be to blame so ill just keep typing and letting them go in my little fort.

I told you my mom had a day pass and she’s been getting day passes so we get to go home and visit the dogs and she can yell at me to keep the house clean, feed the dogs, play with the dogs, keep the lights off, do the dishes, turn off the little fire heater, keep the boot room door shut, close the blinds and keep my bedroom window shut and make sure the car is plugged in.

Yesterday we went to the Salvation Army. Garages sales are one thing but the Salvation Army has buggies. My mom loves this shit. I don’t call her a hoarder anymore because she yells at me and I don’t want to stress her out. But when we go to the Salvation Army we go to the Salvation Army. We spent 5 hours there yesterday. The place isn’t even that big. Two rooms. My mom volunteers there from time to time so she gets good deals and it’s a great chance for her to get out and see some friends, talk and shop. It takes me about five minutes to case the joint and then I go in for the kill. I scored in the CD section. Dead Kennedy’s, Total Chaos, Eazy-E, Naughty by Nature and about eight more classics.

Meanwhile, mom is limping around from her bummed hip wide eyed and on a mission pushing around a buggy packed with Jeans spilling out all sides, sweaters, Christmas ornaments, massive down confider, “cute” little glass jars with corks to hold her holy water in, baskets and a huge set of bamboo blinds balanced on top pointing straight out the front of the buggy like a modern day medieval salvation army buggy jouster and not looking back.

As I was going through and trying on all the dirty used hats collecting three of four different kinds of head lice I hear mom blabbing in the back room where all the new stuff comes in. I head to the back of the store and through the employees only section and she’s in the back talking away and then there they were! They were not even in the main sorting area. Just the two of them leaning up in the staff lunchroom closet All dusty and sexy. Two perfect condition old wooden 1970 five in a half foot water skis just waiting for me to strip and rape them of there gear, fill them full of holes and screw some nuts in the suckers to mount on some nice new trucks and wheels. I pull them out of the closet and one more falls out! Three water skis! That’s like finding three longboards.

This is how longboarding started in California back in the days. When the surf was bad the surfers mounted trucks on water skis and mimicked their surf like moves on the concrete waves. With bare feet walking up and down their boards like they would on their surfboards in the ocean. Rollin’ in style.

I must say I’m stoked! We brought up moms dump truck of gear and I piled my cds and three water skis on top of her mountain of treasures and the lady at the till added it all up for a grand total of five bucks! The waters skis were the most expensive costing a dollar each. My mom turned around grabbing some last minute impulse deals near the till like fake plastic flowers and a doll or two for Billie Rose. I paid for the bill and I went outside and packed the car to the point I was stuffing it all in and ramming the seats back with all my weight to make it fit. I go back inside and my moms still at the till now with another three bags of stuff she “needs” pulls out her debit card out and goes to pay. The lady says, “Oh your son already paid.” She looked at me like I killed her only son and lashed out at me in front of everyone in the store. “Why did you do that? It was my treat.” I said, “Five bucks is a treat, thank you, let’s go.”

So here we are back in the hospital it’s now 9:17am Tuesday I started writing this at 7:20am when I couldn’t sleep. Mom is snoring away and I’m still farting. I’m going to close my eyes now I didn’t get any sleep last night and at 11:00am we have a family meeting with the doctors they have something to tell us.

Anyone is Whistler on Thursday, Dec 1st at 11pm come check out the Highway Gospel Whistler Premiere at the Whistler Conference Centre
Canada, 2011, 91 minutes
Director: Jaret Belliveau
Co-director: Craig Jackson:

Also, support the Toys for Kids program on Dec 10th:

And do not selectively forget about Longboard Hockey!

Strike out!

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