Cariboo Brewing

Striker’s Tales: 10.17.11

• Nov
  17th

I landed back in YVR and found myself back on the Canada Line heading home. With one day of rest I picked up the F-bomb (AKA Cripple-Bomb) and the plan was to leave Friday at 9am but of course I rallied up the troops and we headed out Thursday night from Landyachtz at 11pm.

Packed full of Cariboo beers in all the popular stubbies and colours! We loaded up on some of the other PWB beers like Ironhorse and a rare blend of the Pacific Schwarzbock tall cans. We were also carrying four Vancouver Canuck box seat tickets thanks to Pacific Western Brewing, three blinged out Coast Longboarding medals for the splash for cash winners and a packed RV ready to tour riders and racers for the Coast Longboarding Sunshine Coast to Coast Longboarding tour! 11 years ago this was the original C.L.B.C. tour that kick started what you see world wide today – a longboarding epidemic. We toured from sunrise till sunset bombing around eighteen hills with no breaks! This weekend we also held the 8th annual Coast Longboarding Splash for Cash outlaw race hosted by Team Green.

Before we drove to the ferry we decided to make a surprise pit stop at Fern st, one of many Vancouver skate houses. We found Tony Graves all alone surrounded by gold, silver, bronze medals won by the roommates! So we took over the house and the Abby skate house guys took over the indoor mini ramp. Music cranked up and with a full fridge of Cariboo it was a good old ramp session! A few good crashes and some great collisions everyone came back to the cripple bomb in one piece.

We headed to the ferry and the lucky riders got to sleep in a nice warm cribb. The floors are heated if you don’t mind sleeping on the floor. The rest of the boys slept in the back of a truck with a tarp protecting them from the elements. It’s a good to know how to rough it and when you get out of your comfort zone. Makes you stronger as a rider. The guys were cold out there and a little wet.

We got off the ferry after sleeping in the ferry parking lot only to wake up and catch the first boat. Wind warnings and heavy rain was in the forecast for the tour. I thought that was Perfect. Riders had gumboots and were ready to play in the mud anyways and they did. Sechelt was our first stop. There was talk about having a race in the mall. So we dedicated the first skate of the day to racing in the Clayton’s center THE MALL! Racers scoped the mall and then the race was on! From one end of the mall to the other. Racers pumped as hard as they could the only thing slowing them down was the automatic sliding doors at the exit that was slow to open. No crashes. Nobody hurt. Nothing broken. Matt Hoodie Shaw won a six pack of honey lager stubbies. We piled in the cripple bomb and headed out!

We roll up on the first big hill. Halfmoon Bay. A nice big 90+km 9% drop if your doing it right. It was just like the past two coast tours ten years ago, but this time we didn’t scope the shit. And just like before bodies all over the road. Standing tall and smashing to the ground hard. I haven’t laughed so hard watching people crash in years. I loved it!

This is what Osl cripple bomb rider had to say. “I was concussed and also very stoned I tore my AC shoulder joint so I’m out for a few months. Fucking wicked weekend though.”

The plan was to pick up riders Friday at 9:00am Landyachtz. It was now 8:30am Friday and we were already on the coast with three pukers, three crashes, a successful race through a mall and Stumanchu finished his first gumboot beer slam for spilling in the bomb. The gumboot was stolen from some worker at a seafood plant and the chunks that soaked up the beer entered Stus mouth and he just started to vomit! It wasn’t till later that Stu found out that he just sucked back a beer in some guy’s rotten old gumboot at a seafood plant!

We headed to Pender harbor while we continued to hit all the original hills that we hit so many years ago on the first tour. The wind really started to pick up and you really had to watch out where you pointed your skate. All kinds of slimy leaves, pine needles, sticks and branches covered the road. The roads that were in the shade were the worst ones to skate. Car tires uncovered a line to skate down most hills and you had to stay in that small area to keep safe and keep yourself on the road – good luck I thought while waiting for some more crashes.

We got to Lee Bay and the storm really picked up! Power was out in all of garden bay. A tree broke in half and ripped off a set of power lines. The wind was blowing punnishing hard. Waves were crashing up on the shore, hail was cracking the f-bomb window and we were at the top of the hill ready to descend. Raggie didn’t think twice he came out of nowhere in t-shirt and shorts and lead this bomb. Again a few more crashes and even more cold and wet feet.

The punishment continued for Keefer at bear bay when he smashed his head off the bridge knocking himself into real space travel. Then Back to the dump road where Sampson Jr crashed off the road. Again everyone was ok. We drove towards Egmont and hit four more hills. We ended up on the Hamburger Hill. Another famous Coast Longboarding rugged hill to attack. Only two Cribb Bombers rode Hamburger Hill and crashed before giving up. After all that fun we had a rest at a good old friends house and former longboarder… (Before he cracked open his head in the Chan center years ago) big Roly Nichols. This was when our day finished for downhilling. The sun was going down and riders got into some beers and were looking for dinner! We drove out to the rash and camped out with a nice big fire on some old dirt forestry road. Some enjoyed the fire, some enjoyed a ruthless game of “snakes and ladders, jail rape, drunk and sober, I wish I had a sharper knife strikers edition” and others went and explored the rain forest looking for the caves to hot box the suckers.

We woke up and drove to Sechelt where we had the greatest breakfast and coffee ever!! Then after that we lined up with our elbows up, outside a thrift store with a bunch of old grey haired lady’s that rushed to get all kinds of nic nacs and Christmas gifts when the doors opened. I loaded up on Tapes for the cripple bomb, Christmas lights for the cripple bomb, decorations, toques, and a beer drinking big glass thing that never lasted long because I smashed it on the floor over Raggies leg to stop the chucking of cards at my head while I was driving. By far the best score in the store was a piss jug for me… its was used of course but nothing a little bleach wont fix. Its hard to get up two times a night tripping and breaking riders bones as I try to find a place to plant my feet on my way out the door ready to explode! So no more! Piss jug to the rescue! Just gotta watch the cap on that thing. While we were in the thrift store Hoodie and Sandman were in the mall getting the last pieces of hardware to set up our brand new cripple bomb radio station!! Keg fm. Thanks to the schnitzel we now can broadcast live on the airways at every race the cripple bomb attends. Anyone in a 30-mile radius can tune in and hear our uncensored shenanigans! All you need is a little radio or a car radio or the radio off your new smart phones!

The race didn’t start till noon and we were on our way to the rash in style! All the decorations up, lights up and the radio station up! When we showed up we saw Irene from John Henry’s. (the Danger Bay gate keeper) She cooked up a huge pot of chili and had all the bread, butter, spoons and napkins. She also had some yummy apples to boot. This ended up being perfect for everyone! We heated up the pot in the Cribb bomb and while racers were paying for race entry they would get a free cup of chili. Everyone got fed including the volunteers. Thanks Irene once again. That hit the spot.

With all the racers entered we had enough to pay 300 bucks for 1st 160 for 2nd and 60 for 3rd. Scoot Smith and Hollywood Wes Sampson couldn’t catch the viper kid tony graves this day. Tony viper kid Graves, one of the schnitzels Kimberly thrashers that is all grown up now and shit kicking hills year round and world wide. Tony won it all, he was the splash champion! Hoodie and Raggie beat the shit out of each other all the way to the finish line again taking each other out, reinjuring Hoodies back. It was a great day!! Osl pulled himself out of a ditch only to find himself in the hospital. But besides that everything was safe and Lots of young sunshine coast locals out getting the race experience and that’s the point!

We drove back to Pender to off the hook seafood’s. They have Sushi and seafood. We had to eat and eat now! My good buddy Karl Nichols owns this seafood sushi shop. Karl is a Pender local from a longtime fisherman family, so you know they have everything when it comes to fresh seafood. The fish and chips at Off the Hook are famous around the sunshine coast and the beer batter is a huge part of it. They use a secret ingredient and its Cariboo’s Genuine Draft in the green can. You know The amount of Cariboo beer they must go through they should open a bar or just start buying kegs to make this dish a little cheaper for them. They also have a “STRIKER SPECIAL” If your going to be in Pender harbor for attack of danger bay you better get a “STRIKER SPECIAL” its on the menu!! Its all fresh wild Cod, Salmon, & Halibut and with any fish comes chips, and a homemade tarter sauce, sliced lemon and a side of Japanese’s cabbage salad! I’m in my mom’s hospital room right now just thinking of this while I write I think I’m going to steal her lunch.

The boys got fed and it was time to party Cariboo style. We were invited to a good old school house party. So we drove the cripple bomb and parked it right beside the house. Wes was playing baseball with cans of caribou and he went three for three the last swing was at a glass bottle and just like the cans exploded upon impact.

The infamous beer game was unleashed and we set up a table in the carport and dumped a huge pile of beer in the middle, enough for everyone on the cripple bomb to play. The Djs cranked up and The dance party started. People were puking in the house and in my bed in the bomb. I had to get the bed dragged out thrown away in the owners yard. No way I was keeping that mattress after that. The party continued some of the cripple bombers got lucky. We gave out a shit pile of Cariboo stickers and boo girl t-shirts. All in all it was a good night! When I went to bed I put on the sleepy time tape. Tapes great but you have to wake up every twenty minutes to flip the sucker over.

We woke up and it was time to head back to the city! Raggie bombed the ferry hill going about 80+ barefoot, as he rounded the corner we all seen that the lanes were blocked with ferry traffic and Raggie didn’t really have a place to go. I like to remind you he was bombing barefoot. He was fine. He picked a line between two cars and a ferry worker. Magic!

Thanks to Cariboo Brewing once again I still had three Vancouver Canucks box seat tickets to draw for on our final Cripple Bomb tour of the year. So while we were in the ferry line up we made the draw. Sector troy, d-d-dale and team greens sandman were the lucky winners. We dropped off the RV and went straight to the game. We all stunk like street people but they let us through the gate. What a way to end the tour. Longboarders enjoyed box seats eating and drinking like royalty. We ate ribs; all you can eat pizza, trays of veggies, and unlimited popcorn with butter!! And unlimited Cariboo beers. The boys were having a blast. They didn’t expect this. They ran over to the fridge like a pack of hyenas. All the fresh cold Cariboo beers in every colour were ready for us to crack into. They had both stubbies and even some Pacific Pilsner and the yummy NatureLand Organic beer. After a weekend I just dragged them through they caught there second wind right away!

We made up a drinking game to enjoy the hockey game of course. Every time a whistle blew it was a drink. If a ref falls down it’s a shotgun. A penalty was two drinks. When a period was over you must slam what you have left in your drink and if a goal was scored it’s a shot gun. The Canucks won 4-1 against the NY Islanders.

Now i’m back in Williams Lake caring for my mother planning the next couple Coast Longboarding events. Were doing a Santa toy drive skate for CTVs toys for kids program Saturday Dec 10th so bring a unwrapped unopened gift for a child or teenager. After the toys for kids parade were going to rip some downtown parkades and have a little session. Then on the same Saturday, that night were going to have a Longboarding Hockey League Tournament. So bring your sticks and boards! I’ll have prizes and boos! Spread the word!

Strike out!

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