Cariboo Comedy: Damn It!

Well, all the excitement of the big ol’ Winnipeg Comedy Fest had finally died down and the crazy huge Champion of Champions Show #2 at the Rio Theatre (Editor’s Note: Just under three hundred and fifty people in attendance, baby!) was behind us. So that could only mean one thing – Game #5 of the Vancouver Canucks vs. the L.A. Kings live from the Cariboo Lounge at Rogers Arena!

I gotta tell ya, when I was asked if I wanted to attend the fifth and deciding Game last Sunday to see Vancouver vs. L.A. for the opening round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, I couldn’t say, “Yes!” fast enough! Did I want to see the Canucks crush the Kings and live to fight another day? You bet! Did I want to laugh and party and eat a ton of food that I didn’t have to pay for? Of course! Did I want to cheer and high five buddies while the roar of the crowd signaled the most important win of the season? Absolutely! Did all that happen!?! Not so much.

As we all know, The Canucks ended up losing that game. It was a nail biter that went into O.T. and could have gone either way, really (Editor’s Note: are you kidding me? They scored one goal. One freakin’ goal! You can’t win a potential play-off elimination game with just one freakin’ goal!). But the Canucks simply weren’t built for an extended play-off run this year. Honestly, it just wasn’t meant to be. Seriously, if they won Game 5, do you really think, with the way they were playing, The Canucks had what it took to win Games 6 and 7? To advance another two rounds? No. I don’t think so. But as a fan, you just always believe. You just always hope.

Being a Canucks fan is kind of like being a kid waiting for your Dad to come home after he went out for cigarettes; “Mom says Daddy’s never coming back and we should move on, but I think this year will be different. This year’s going to be better. You’ll see! He’ll come back this year, I swear! Look! Is that him?! Is it?!? Oh… never mind. It’s just a cat.”

The nice thing though is that we did get to watch the game from the Cariboo Brewing suite, otherwise known as, The Cariboo Lounge. It’s as fancy as they say it is in all the papers and the people in the suite right next to us were the L.A. Kings brass! Yes, the L.A. Kings management was right next door, so at least we got to see someone happy for the night and that made it all worth while (Editor’s Note: They can’t hear your sarcasm while you type, ya mook). But seriously, the Cariboo Lounge has a great view of the arena, comes fully stocked with Boo Brews and they even throw in some delicious foody-foods. In fact, I heard a rumor that with the Canucks out of the playoffs now, the lounge may be open for certain contest winners (Editor’s Note: Hold on a sec… what now?).

Some dink from the suite next to us. He asked if he could get his picture taken with me. He claimed he had played for the L.A. Kings at some point. I said, “When? In the 90’s?!” Bwa-ha-ha-haaaaa! Sigh Why do I look like an old Italian woman? (Patrick cries and heads off to the Sit-Up Palace).

But, despite the Canucks losing (Editor’s Note: Again!), there is a silver lining. In this case, with the Canucks out of the playoffs it means our Saturday nights can now be filled with some hilarious shows of mirth and laughter compliments of the good people at Cariboo Brewing.

What kind of shows, you say? Well, how about the All-Pro Cariboo Comedy Show we’re having at The Sin Bin Sports Bar & Grill Saturday, May 12th. Price is only $5 and we’ll have some awesome swag to give away to lucky audience members compliments of the fine folks at Cariboo Brewing and the new Sacha Baron Cohen film, The Dictator.

So, turn that frown upside down, crack a Boo and get rid of that stinkin’ thinkin’ by drinkin’ and blinkin’ (Editor’s Note: You know, sometimes you just can’t force something. I mean, really? “Drinkin’ and blinkin’”?). Laughter is just around the corner! No, seriously. For reals this time. I mean it! No, never mind. It’s just a cat.

Here’s some lovely pics of some good times that were had by all at the mother’ f#%$ing son-of-a-f&%$@ing no-good-for-nothing piece of $#@& Canucks Game #5. I’m over it. No, really. I’m fine… damn, it!!
Please feel free to judge and comment

Everyone is pouring into the stadium. They’re jacked for the game!! Little did we know…

The Cariboo Lounge had everything! Even cases of VitalMax Caffeine free energy drink! (Available at all finer Whole Foods and London Drugs locations).

I preferred to sit and eat before the game started, in only the most dignified way possible.

But enough with the Tom Foolery! It was time to drop the puck, baby!! As you can tell, no one really cared.

We score a goal!!! Everyone goes crazy!! Even Jesus!! As you can see, he does play favourites and preferred the person sitting right next to me.

L.A. scores! It’s going into to overtime! Everyone is tense…

Everyone!! (Side note; Luc went down to the Kings dressing room between the 3rd period and O.T. to give the boys a pep talk. The bastard.) So how did it end…?

Well, there’s always next year!

Your Pal,

Patty The Fatty