Striker’s Tales: The Great American Adventure

We got back from the Sullivan challenge and I only had a couple days to heal up rest, pack and start communicating with my cross American adventure crew. This years tour was already going to be much different than last year’s cross Canada Coast to Coast tour since this year we had two races on the schedule! one on the east being Central Mass eight and the one on the west being Colorado’s devils peak.

A side from the two races this year we would be crossing all of America with no planned shop visits and no real plan of attack after the races. I was excited to get our crew together to see what kind of magic we could naturally muster up. I was excited to see how everything was going to shape out with the whole crew mapping out all our possible routes seeing what kind of fun might lie ahead For us! Tonight we have parked on the side of the road and I’m in my bunk ready to go to bed ….night!!

Day one wasn’t so bad! Got the crew together but had to say my goodbyes to my family and walk away from my home that wouldn’t be my home for that much longer. We got to the border and got sent in for secondary and of course passed with flying colors!! We all cheered as we rolled down the number five and the first hard part was done, we crossed the border! You just never know what’s going to happen when crossing and I always feel lucky to be able to cross even though I have nothing to,worry about.

I pulled a fourteen hour drive and when I had enough, Troy “yardwaste” Grenier grabbed the wheel for fourteen more hours where we arrived to Mount Rushmore on day two. We woke up on the side of the highway after a nice family pasta dinner and a few Canadian beers.

I would like to add that the throttle red got stuck while Troy was driving he noticed that the gas was accelerating at rapid speeds. While he gave the pedal a couple kicks with it brought no luck in slowing us down. Original F-Bomb mechanic Reckless Rickey seen this and immediately cleared the dog house and ripped the cover off to help the situation but it was Troy yardwaste keeping it calm and collective naturally turning the ignition key off shutting the engine off but still leaving the electronics on keeping the steering wheel from locking on us and crashing the RV. Once he turned off the ignition, he had one chance at the power breaks and he made them count pulling the big boat over safely and essentially saving all of our lives! Thanks Landyachtz for the late edition to the tour, because I’m not sure how I would have reacted in that same situation but I sure know what to do now after this one!

Mount Rushmore was quite the site I always imagined the sculptures to be even bigger than they were but you can thank Hollywood for that. We cracked some jokes, then Americans raised the flag at eight in the morning sharp. The bathrooms got destroyed and it was looking like our tank was leaking not sure what was smelling better the Cribb Bomb or The Rushmore bathroom.

On the other side of Mount Rushmore there was a unreal circle of death like hill down the mountainside. corkscrewed in three different parts under some bridges through the tunnels this was some sweet smooth pavement that anyone would respect. I let the crew out at the top of the hill quickly lost the front pack but got to enjoy Ricky and gene getting to know the hill as I followed them into the first tunnel I miss calculated the size of the entrance in tunnel and before I knew it the sound of the rv was a crushing sound and I peeled the top of the roof of the rv like it was a carrot. Not only that I ripped the awning off the side.

It was bad. what can I say!? Wood, siding and metal everywhere. The cribb just got beat up more than ever. If you think the cribb bomb is a pile of garbage before you, should see it now! Troy spent two hours on the roof of the RV in Wisconsin where I’m writing you from my bunk before bed. The tar was bought by by a kick ass local that invited us to his shop when we were about ten hours out. Ethan is his name and he fed us, had beer, tar and other fixings ready for us to help with the repairs. Total heart of gold!

It’s only day three and when I wake up I’ll be driving us to the biggest water park in America and bean offered to pay for everyone!!! What a guy!! Even Shitshow Shadow wouldn’t do that sort of thing!!

We arrived to the Disneyland of the mid west this place had everything you could imagine, it was just a small town built on water parks, amusement parks, pizza buffets, mini golf, go kart tracks, zombie parks, big roman ruins structures, dinosaurs and even army boot camp obstacles parks!!! This place had it all!! So we all went into America’s biggest water park and spent four hours hitting every slide we could. What a blast and what a good way to shower!

After all the fun in the sun, we hit the highway and powered through another huge night. Troy and I drove through about ten states when we finally thought we should catch some sleep, so we tagged in Wild bean and Reckless Ricky for some shifts. Bean is a solid driver but we have a history and I’ve seen him take out gas stations with the Danger Bay u-hauls!!! As for Ricky, another solid driver but he’s Reckless!! Drives a bit fast and is hard on my breaks but you can’t have it all I guess but solid drivers, stoked to have four of us total that have had a fair bit of time behind the wheel of the cribb.

I feel asleep with Bean driving, but woke up with Reckless Rick driving!? I had figured the driving style changed a bit. Day five at some crappy gas station, another American gas station with crap junk food. We haven’t been eating the healthiest yet this trip, we have spent loads of hours on the road and all we seem to get is what’s offered at each stop, if this keeps up I’ll most definitely have diabetes by the second half of this trip.

As I was paying for some goods, I had seen Ricky rolling under the RV and that’s when I noticed that we were leaking something from the front of the RV. Well turns out that the radiator had a leak which is never a quick easy fix, especially if the part was made twenty four years ago now!! We spent a couple hours on the horn looking for a radiator when California’s Justin Barnes piped up with a solid hook up and it ended up being the lead we needed to find a replacement rad. Reckless Ricky sorted it all out and lined up our part for pick up about a day or two ahead of us so by the time we got to central mass our new rad would be waiting for us. Ricky dumped a small bottle of fifteen dollar quick fix in the rad and it seemed to plug our leak for now so I’m back writing you from my bunk at 3:42am on our way across New York State.

When I woke up for the second time, the crew voted on heading up to Niagara fall and it wasn’t far off the beaten path so that was the plan. The Niagara falls were huge and the river acted as natural border between the two countries both sharing the magnificent views. Not sure why, but the falls seemed a bit smaller to me in real life but I’m not complaining or anything eh!? I always wondered if I would see them…

While all this fun stuff was going on, Troy made it clear to me that he needed a ride to the hospital so soon as we could, we dropped him off at emergency and we parked in a dirty parking lot in a bad part of town. Most the crew checked out the casino warming up for our Vegas trip while me, ricky and soegard cooked three pizzas and played guard duty. I noticed the hotel across the street had a pool so i dressed up in my best bathrobe, told the staff i needed to grab my shoes, they told me they were closed but they let me in so, as soon as they turned around i rolled in the pool for a quick splash and a scrub down to call it even!

Troy rolled back from the hospital so we loaded up and hit the road east about three in the morning. I woke up in a walmart parking lot feeling like shit and needing some fruit and veggies along with a gallon of water the heat with bad eats was starting to catch up to me. I bought a watermelon, bananas, cherries, strawberries and twenty pairs of my favorite fruit of the loom underwear. If that wasn’t going to pick a guy up I’m not sure what will!?

Day six was a day of running around and banging off a few chores. I needed to get sorted with a internet plan so i could load all this good stuff with Troy needed strong prescriptions and a half hour video phone date with his physiotherapist. Ricky called ahead and got the great news that our new radiator showed up and was ready for pickup but the liquid we poured in seemed to plug any holes in our current rad so we had been lucky!

I’m writing you now from the side of a building between the two racers hotels near central mass. I’ve got a plug where I’m stealing power to write this and one by one the stinky cribb riders come in for a shower using a tap that’s sticking out the side of the hotel. you can just imagine the sounds I’m hearing. But hey!? We made it this far and i can feel the calm before the storm. We made it and i think the organizers were a bit worried?!…. I would be too.

Central mass eh!!!!? It’s a good time! Poaching hotel bathrooms and pools, there’s two main hotels and we have parked the Cribb-Bomb by a dumpster between both of these hotels. I’m guessing it’s tradition racers and riders at the event meets by this dumpster while young and old riders hike a small hill speeding into options at the bottom of the hill.

The Trailer park dogz menu is small but sweet! We have beef “Dawgsicles”, Hot Dawg soup, just the water we boil them n but we add fresh vegetables and other goodies. We serve the original “Hot Dawg” which comes with all the sauces you can imagine, onion, maybe bacon, real cheese and the kicker two Dawgs not just one but two dawgs and served on a piece of bread old school style. We sell them like hotcakes at skate events and our customers return. Tonight we paid for half of cost of our radiator that we need replacing.

The Central Mass parking lot party is refreshing! You got security driving by in golf carts every so often telling everyone to keep the noise down in the halls and give us garbage bags. that’s it. Police drive right through the party while the skaters give them room to do so and that’s as far as that goes. The hotel just let skaters have a party in the parking lots and skate around all night. I haven’t seen this yet in all my travels. It’s rad!

Right now it’s 4:07am and we left the hotel to get a sick parking spot at the race hill. We’re looking for first dibs on a killer spot….but we’re lost at the moment. I’m going to close my eyes for now see you for the day eight update!!

Day 8 woke up with another headache and. Not much sleep. Not enough water on these extremely hot days and just need to eat a bit better. I woke up in my bunk and I could hear the rain pounding on the roof of the RV. By that point it was too late, the roof bandage Troy applied might have Worked just enough, were not as Pretty as we used to look but that’s OK! this is the end of the tour!

It was race day riders were all awake and lined up for the buses to shuttle them to the top of the hill. I’m a visitor to the east! This event has been running for eight years strong and I sat back and took it all in. I brought my camera and walked up and down the course playing around watching the F-Bombers in their race heats and the way the whole event was ran. Excellent volunteers and unreal local support! this event is a well oiled machine and was running perfectly.

Central Mass race day!!! This is a very important North American race that you should all support. It was nice soaking it all in as a spectator and definitely learned a couple new tricks… even after running Attack of Danger Bay the last sixteen years I found this event inspiring… not sure I’ll be back but if i do it will be with the microphone… I’ve announce over hundred and sixty races in sixteen years and Central Mass isn’t one of those so I’d like that changed, the east never got to experience my wrath on the microphone yet but soon. All in all Coast approved and two thumbs way up!! Fantastic job to all the volunteers!!!! You absolutely without a doubt make this event Mike runs a well respected tight ship with potential to really step shit up if the event ever needs a fresh blast of stoke!!

After the race, we headed to a pool hall for the first half of the after party and it kicked ass! The Skate  Invaders were out in full force too! what a blast. wish the hall party lasted all night it as it was just kickin’ in when we all had to leave but the parking lot party’s was  loud and proud!

the Trailer Park Dawgz were going in full force!! we made a good five hundred bucks as a crew handing out posters by donations and selling the Dawgs!!!! This was huge for us because we needed to buy two new batteries to keep the fridge going while we are shut off, new u-joint for the drive shaft and a new radiator!!! Super happy with everyone’s effort on that one!!

The Central Mass party was easy to win and i was disappointed we never got to see Mike G let loose and visit the parking lot party after the race. My good buddie John Ozman that ran nine Maryhill Festival of Speeds never showed up to giver ever either, too bad.

Day nine was the slide competition and by far the best part of Central Mass in my mind, just a pile of riders ripping a road all day showing off. They had a hard wheel division, soft wheel division, longest slide, open division, Jr, and women’s divisions. This was a real slide competition plain and simple and the riders knew it. Big crashes, big crowd but was missing the announcer at the bottom corner to play with the crowd. They had a microphone on the middle of the hill but could have added one more I thought, but that’s just me AND coming from a guy who thinks maryhill should have at least three announcers up and down the track. Central Mass has the crowds to really create a wild unforgettable atmosphere.


-Day ten- Right now I’m writing you from the front of the cribb bomb while Troy and bean are blasting music and driving towards the church of Skatan!! We’re almost out of New Brunswick on our way to the Cabot Trail. We’re picking up my buddie Devon in Truro N.S. then continuing to Port Hood where Damian, the owner of the Port Hawkesbury Airport paid for twenty lobsters for us to pick up first thing in the morning to help us celebrate the opening of the Church of Skatan with a classic Cape North dinner, along with a couple of Cape Breton fiddlers, Pro skater Rick McCrank and a TV camera crew from VICE!!!!!! Couldn’t have wrote this story any better!!!! Check in next Striker’s Tales to find out what happens next!!!! New York’s Time Square!!?!? Las Vegas and the strip!!! Devil’s Peak Colorado!!!! Thanks for reading!!!

Thanks to our 2016/2017 Cribb-Bomb Tour Sponsors!!! This Tour would never happen without the support of these brands!! Please send them a message thanking them or thank them with your dollars and support them!! They have helped us make the best memories and stories to tell for years to come. ON THAT NOTE WE LIKE WELCOME BACK SWITCHBACK LONGBOARDS TO THE 2017/2018 TOUR!!! Thank you!!









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