Cariboo Brewing

F-bomb trips have been proven to be almost too much but this time it was Striker versus his dead beat dad and a ground breaking longboarding event in North America at Cathlamat as Dean Ozona introduced boarder cross to the racers and the people.

So its been three months now on the road – straight! The only time to rest has been in the hospital but that seems like years ago now. Seems like racers are broke or just saving up for Calgary’s Canada Cup this coming weekend. I got back from Edmonton just in time to have a bunch of riders back out for Cathlamat. The F-bomb isn’t free and sometimes racers have to do what they got to do. That would mean racers jump into sponsors vans and jump into friends cars. That makes things cheap.

Patricia and Billie took off to the Cariboo to take care of my sick mother and I still have two trips with the bomb to make sponsors happy. No problem the seasons almost over and Cathlamat has been on my radar for years now and this would be all new experience for me. With nobody in the F-bomb and me not seeing my dad in months I thought I would call him up and invite him on a nice father son trip. Why not reach out while I can eh. To my surprise I called him up on the Tuesday and last minute he found his passport and he was coming with me to the Cathlamat down hill coral in the USA. Stoked! Dads a broke ass hurting drug addicted old school washed up hockey player that never made it so I promised that I would take care of all his food and gas and this would be a sick father son trip. I only met him when I was 11 years old so I was never raised by this guy till I moved to Pender Harbor for grade eleven and got to know him. This would mark our first ever trip or holiday together I couldn’t wait. Should be a blast.

We get across the boarder a high five because we thought America would never let him in and he got in so the trip was off to a great start. Radio blasting, dads eighties salt and pepper mullet blowing in the wind. Things are good. Right on! I had to stop for some cheap gas and looked in my wallet and seen that I had $350 bucks so I felt good about giving my pops some spending cash seeing as he was totally broke and this would help him enjoy this trip. So I gave him $200 bucks, then I filled the gas tank with the rest of my cash and we were back on route. We decide to take the easy route to Cathlamat. Dad was cooking and cleaning all stoked. We got to Cathlamat ate dinner in the F-bomb and seen a huge sign at the local bank that said welcome longboarders… so we parked the 33 foot coast rv in the parking lot then. How’s that for being welcome.

Woke up cars all around us it was Friday and business as usual. Met some of the riders and event organizers. Ran into Deano Ratt a longtime Coast Longboarder from years back. Deano was putting on the first ever boardercross in North America at this event. He had a truck packed with lumber. We shot the shit and talked about possibly staging world war two next year. Just to explain the Coast longboarding World War and how it came about. Coast longboarding for years held a “fuck the rain tour” on Maryhill loops rd. long history anyways shit was getting heated out and the museum told us we were not aloud there anymore. Deano stepped up and went to meetings and fought for the road for us for a free ride but before the free ride was ever a free ride we set up a world war. I was the Canadian general and Deano was the American general. We had to draft 50 racers each from our country’s and we would have a world war set at Maryhill. It was really hush hush and letters were sent by email and recruits were recruited over email and phone. Long story short. Deano only got 20 something Americans and I got 60 Canadians – 10 more than I was aloud. We shit kicked Deanos army and it was a blast. Canada won!

So it was nice shooting the shit with Deano and I’m stoked about next year! Were going to set a date and start drafting racers. So Deano had work ahead of him with the first ever boarder cross in north America so me and my dad decided to head to longbeach Washington. The so called longest beach in the world. It was over an hour drive and we headed out.

Longbeach is a small tourist town with a long drag strip of shops and places to eat, it was my kind of town. We finally found a sweet spot just out of town on the beach and this place is to die for. I will never miss another Cathlamat race ever again. This beach was super soft tan sand. I ripped off my shoes and kicked around the sand and went straight to the water. The sound of the waves crashing on the beach reminded me of sleeping on the beaches of Australia these last couple years. So I did just that. Slept on the beach. Woke up with a red nose and stoked to be on the beach I grabbed a nice ice-cold Cariboo. The other thing I liked about Longbeach Washington was we were aloud to park on the beach. You can drive up and down the beach in your cars, jeeps or trucks. We seen one guy get big time stuck with his family. Nice thing to listen to the radio and have lunch over with my dad. We played crib and I lost every game. dad kept drinking. Dad was drinking all day.

We spend had to be eight hours in the sun and on the beach and wanted to head back to Cathlamat for the big karaoke night at the little pub that could right beside the race track. What a night! We met Billy bones inside and he was singing away. Cliff Colman was inside not drinking but having a great time. Cliff Colman is the 62 year old slide master that invented the slide. He was brought to Cathlamat to host the slide jam. I haven’t seen him since Brazil Teutonia when we stayed together with k-rimes at Sergio yuppies house to get ready to race the fastest race in the world!!! Love that hill. 3 grave yards and a church at the top. The kind of hill racers hold hands at the top and pray. And we did. So back to the bar in Cathlamat. We had a blast! I got on and gaver for a bunch of songs and drinks and songs were being given to me all night. I went with it. Dad was stealing my drinks while I was pounding water and the drinks he wasn’t stealing.

We get back to the camp. Its walking distance from the bar and max caps California Coast longboarder is sleeping on the ground outside the F-bomb so I bring him inside and he sleeps where my dad did the last night. Me and my dad played couple games of crib that I lost again and it was bedtime for me I had enough. Dad gave a comment about me giving up his bed to Max and I told him that this bed here with the table down is much better flatter and easy to set up. He told me to set it up then. So I told him I’m going to bed its easy just lay the table between the two seats and your set… well I guess I should have just set it up for him because he went nuts after that. Calling me a names for making him sleep outside then yelling at me saying I’m an asshole, saying he never disrespected his dad like I do and then back to calling me names! I just said go to bed… man. So he’s still yelling calling me every name in the book from outside. He decided it was all my fault that he was outside sleeping on the ground when I did actually set up his bed for him.

Then he continued to take shots at me saying that I was never apart of the Storoschuck family and how I’m a Lyons. Then he continued to call me by my grandpas name on my moms side. I’m telling him to come inside and just go to bed but he still continues to call me names! Then wham. I’m in bed and I hear a loud bang off the F-bomb so I yell, then blam! Even louder and harder this time. Shook the hold rv. My loser dad that I met when I was 11 years old is pissed drunk and slamming huge rocks the size of his big head off the side of the rv calling me every name in the book. He managed to put a huge hole in the side of the rv. This was my new baby’s home on the road. I worked hard to have this for my wife, baby and all the Coast longboarders. How can I sell this thing now if I want to. A huge hole in the side of the F-bomb… who would buy that. So now I had enough. I am really good at getting under peoples skin when I want to so I start lipping him off calling him a junkie and bringing up all this shit that people have told me over the last three years of him killing himself. I’m hitting the ripe spots and throwing words at him faster than he can blink. He starts going off about my mother so I hit him with some more words of fury then that was it. He had enough the big tough drunk thought he would come into the F-bomb and attack me. He comes in and I jump out of bed and squat and hide behind the closet in my room so if he took a swing he would miss. I peek my head out and see him looking for the light so he can find me and beat the shit out of me. Well junkies aren’t that smart or tough. Soon as he said “where’s the light” I thought the best defense is offense. I came around the corner out of my room and grabbed him and slammed him off the wall he then grabbed me and I ran him into the kitchen of the f-bomb and slammed him to the floor. He started trying to land some punches from his back and I picked him up and tried to chuck him down the stairs and out of the rv but he had a good grip on me so I threw him into the chair and put all my weight on him and tied up his arms so he couldn’t land any of those goon hockey punches in my face. (This is good shit eh!) So frustrated he couldn’t hit me he started yelling let go of me and gave me the craziest drunken face I have ever seen him make. No way I was going to let this sucker go. Like a good hockey goon he was trying to get his arms free to clock me and when that didn’t work I felt pain in my chest! The loser started biting me. Just then in my brain my natural reaction was to pop out his eyes with my thumbs then I thought this is my dad. I yelled at him “You’re biting me! Really!” then I almost started head butting him but again this raging junkie is my dad I can’t do that. So I yelled you’re my dad man get off. I let him go and jumped out of the rv. He scrambled to his feet and was out the door and ready to fight. “you want to go lets go” he was saying. I just backed away as he approached me to start swinging. I yelled at him “I’m not going to fight my dad screw off” hahah wow then the whole camp is up and he starts balling like a little baby. Then he snaps again and that was the last I saw of my dad.

Woke up the next day dad was gone thankfully. He must have hitchhiked or hung himself. I really did care but he left his passport and all his id in the bomb. He grabbed his bag and computer so he must have been fine. He also had the cash I gave him so that might of bought himself some junk or a bus ride home. Hahahah what a loser. So with my washed up old man gone It was just me in the f-bomb. I parked on the race hill and headed over to the Boardercross. Coast longboarding gave away fifteen medals at this event. Most yet besides Attack of Danger Bay. We gave medals for two slalom events. Medals for the push race, boarder cross and medals for the big race for the open class and Jr divisions.

The boarder cross was the most fun I have in years at an event. But I really wanted to announce this event but I missed the first two years so my good friend Rob McKenndry the 3rd was on the Mic. Guys were folding themselves left right and center. 4 man boarder cross first guy off the jump would crash and then the other three would pile up. Boards shooting into the crowd head height flying off the ramps just ready to scalp an old man not paying attention. I even ducked from a board almost taking my head off then another time I did the same but the board still landed on my head some how. Better than taking a missile in the forehead or the Adams apple.

Patrick Switzer took first place in the boarder cross after a big crash and he came out clean for the win. Then they had a big air comp and again a real crowd pleaser. Longboarders launching off the ramps and crashing. What a blast. I know were going to see more of this kind of events. It was just so much fun. Saturday night we did some more karaoke. I broke the breakers or the fuse or the amp whatever it was two times that night just singing away putting on a show. I had to. I wasn’t announcing this race so I needed to be heard. It was another great night on the Mic. Race day came and I woke up and enjoyed my first Cathlamat race. The race is right downtown in a small community. All the shops have welcome longboarders on the windows and shirts hanging in the windows for sale. BBQ and pizza venders. Company’s with booths. Police all over the place looking like scary USA guys. The fire dept and the ambulance out to take in the action. The course had some ramps for riders to crash all over so the crowd really likes that. Lots of action, lots of crashing. USA swept the podium shutting out Patrick Switzers year of domination around the world. Alex Tounge took first, Chip Wood 2nd and Billy bones 3rd.

Now I’m off to Calgary for the Canada cup. 2 days rest and back on the road. This time we are packed with racers, packed with hills, and packed with caribou for the campfires time after some long days of bombing hills! No dads aloud!

Strike out!